The Avengers Compilations
by TsunaMoshi
Summary: Making fun of Captain America is where it's at. A little bit of Steve/Tony...sorry to all you people that loved me that don't love me anymore. ENJOY ANYWAY.
1. The Nicknames

**The Avengers Compilations**

The Nicknames

Steve Rogers (AKA Captain America) wasn't so fond of the lingo of the days. He also wasn't very fond of Tony Stark (AKA Iron Man). He had decided, though, to give the lingo a shot. He walked into the room that Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow), Bruce Banner (Hulk), and Clint Barton (Hawkeye) were gathered in. "Ey guys, what's 'appenin'?"

Banner seized the moment to comment. "I think you're missing a few 'h's' and a 'g'."

"Naw, man...it's cool. Hey, Snarky Starky. What's up?"

"What did you call me?"

Rogers sat next to Stark and Barton, who was losing his mind over laughter. "Y'see, I recently watched Jersey Shore..."

Natasha, who had made her way to the rec room promptly as he said this, shot the big, sleek flat-screen TV multiple times until it exploded into a million pieces. "Hey, Stalin! Get back in here!"

She walked back into the room, and aimed her gun at his head. "I swear to god, Rogers, I will shoot you in the head."

"No, cuz, get off that..." he said with exaggerated movement. Barton fell off the couch, laughing himself to the brink of death. Banner looked at Stark, then at Rogers. "What do you suppose we do about it?"

Natasha walked up behind them, a gun still in hand. "Cognitive recalibration: A very hard hit to the head."

Banner shrugged. "What do we have to lose?"

"You never know, gramps might have a heart attack or something." He looked at Natasha. "Have at it, though."

The butt of her gun met the back of Rogers' head. It fell back, his mind unconscious. He awoke seconds later and looked around quickly. He spotted Barton on the floor. "Man down! Man down!"

Rogers jumped from the couch and looked around. He turned and leapt over the couch to hide behind it. He looked up at Natasha. "Get down!"

He pulled her down. "What are you, crazy? What are you doing in the middle of a battle field?"

He noticed the gun. "You're a soldier? Axis or Allies?"

"Rogers..."

He grabbed the gun, and then jumped over the couch again to land on one knee. He held the gun up as the others stood up. "Whoa, Rogers..."

"Don't move, Nazi bastards, or I will shoot you."

Banner put his hands out. "We're not Nazis, Rogers."

"I said don't move!"

Stark attempted to switch feet. Rogers aimed the gun in his general direction. "Cap'n, chill. You're not in a war zone."

He attempted a roll over on the ground, but struggled to get back up. Barton was off the floor, but still laughing. Natasha walked up behind Rogers and slammed her foot into the back of his head. His forehead met the ground, and he blacked out. She grabbed her gun and placed it back in its holster. "Idiot."

While everything was going on, Nick Fury opened the door, stepped one foot in, looked around, then walked out again to save his sanity.

Stark and Barton had placed Rogers on the couch, while Banner made sure he was still alive. Rogers opened one eye slowly. "What the hell happened?"

Barton stepped forward to speak, but Stark grabbed him and covered his mouth. "Don't say one word, it might happen again," he whispered. Barton nodded. Rogers sat up. "What happened?"

"Nothing, you just randomly passed out on the floor."

"Really?"

Banner and Stark nodded. Natasha crossed her arms, but left no reply. "Oh...weird...I have a question, though."

"Let's hear it."

"How do you use that large thing on the wall in the recreation room?"

Stark sat next to him and patted his shoulder. "Don't worry about it now, Cap'n."

"Hey, Snarky Starky!"

"Oh no..." Stark looked at Banner as they were conducting an experiment. Rogers walked over and looked into the room. They both removed their goggles. "You're not watching Jersey Shore again, are you?"

"What? Oh, no. I think it's fun to call you that."

"It annoys me."

"I know, more fun."

"What do you want, Cap'n Crunch?"

"Oh, I was just coming to say that."

"Thank you for interrupting our experiment to annoy your friend, here Rogers, but-"

"What kind of experiment?" He looked at all the expensive technology he had never seen before. "Looks important."

"Yes, so, if you wouldn't mind..."

Rogers backed up. "Okay...okay..."

He walked off. "We should try to engineer his brain next."

Banner shrugged, and pulled his goggles back on.

Barton and Natasha were standing at a board. Rogers ran into the room and jumped into a rolling chair, which rolled across the room behind them, until he entered a doorway and was launched off. He crashed into boxes. They turned their attention to it. Rogers walked out of the room, rubbing that back of his head. "Really, Rogers?"

"Didn't work as well as it did on the TV."

"You know, there are warnings on TV shows for a reason?"

"So?"

"So? Does that mean that if Stark and I were to jump off a bridge, you would too?"

"Well, sure."

"Of course you would."

"It depends though, Tweety, how you're going to jump."

"Tweety?"

Rogers shrugged. Barton got up into his face. "I can shoot an arrow straight through you skull multiple times in the same place, and you dare to nickname me Tweety?"

"Don't get into my face, Son."

"What will you do about it?"

"Son, you have no idea..."

Natasha broke the two up. "Seriously, you two?"

"He started it! He called me Tweety!"

"Just shut up and get back to your homework."

"Yeah…" He walked back to the board.

Rogers shrugged. "I'll be at the gym, then…Oh, hey. When you see Fury, let him know we need more punching bags."


	2. Tech Rules

**Tech Rules**

Tony Stark had a brilliant idea. _**More brilliant, **_he told himself, _**than me, which is impossible. **_He found Steve Rogers in the gym, on his 3rd punching bag. "Hey, Cap'n."

"Stark."

"I've got something for you. Let's go up to the bar and have a few drinks."

Rogers wiped his forehead with a towel. "Alright."

They rode up the elevator. "So…you made this place?"

"Yep."

"All of it?"

"Yep."

"Ah…" He looked at the ceiling of the elevator. "I see."

The door opened and they walked out. "So, what is it that you have for me?"

"Something I think you will like. Jarvis, mix up two please."

"Yes, Sir."

They sat at the bar. Stark pulled something from his pocket and handed it to Rogers. "What is it?"

"An iPhone."

"iPhone?"

"Yeah. It's like those old timely telephones you're used to, only touch screen and totally mobile."

He stared at the dark screen. "And I need this, why?"

"I think we started out on the wrong foot…plus, it's a bribe."

"A bribe?"

"Stop calling me 'Snarky Starky'."

"Eh, but it's fun. So, how do I use this?"

"Press the button."

"Where?"

"At the top."

"Oh…" He pressed the button and the screen lit up. "Now what?"

"What's it say to do on the screen?"

"Slide to unlock…" He slid the phone down the bar and it fell off the edge. Stark stared at him. "Really?"

"That's what it said to do! Oh, I did it wrong, huh?"

"Y'think?"

Rogers got up and retrieved the phone. "Okay."

"Place your finger on the screen where it says to slide and move your finger across the screen."

"Oh." He did so, and it unlocked.

"Yeah, so, this does this," he said, and demonstrated calling, texting, taking pictures, etc…

Steve Rogers was addicted to Facebook. Knowing what random people were doing at a moment's time amused him, as technology was proving to amuse him as well. He secretly kept up with Jersey Shore posts too, but that's going in a little too deep. Things were well and dandy for our lovely Avengers for the time being, until Tony Stark, Clint Barton, and Bruce Banner drunk dialed Natasha Romanoff and Nick Fury.

Needless to say, Nick Fury took away their iPhones for the week, and they wept in the corner as their hangovers subsided and the reality hit them.


	3. Everday Superhero

**Everyday Superhero**

Clint Francis Barton, the all wonderful Hawkeye, was training in the archery range. He shot a regular wooden arrow straight through the previous four he had shot. Natasha Romanoff, Black Widow, was in the shooting range next door shooting off round after round of bullets. Tony Stark and Bruce Banner were discussing really smart things, while Steve Rogers was listening, if only to learn all he could about the time he was living in. Of course, Thor was still on Asgard, and Nick Fury was doing whatever he did when he didn't want to lose his sanity. Another normal, and very uneventful, day for the Avengers. Barton walked into the bar. "Hey, Tony, can you hit me up?"

"Yeah. Jarvis!"

He sat at the bar and took up the glass that appeared before him. "Not much has been going on around here."

"Quiet is nice," pointed out Banner.

Roger sipped a drink. "I know what you mean, Barton…but what are we supposed to do about it?"

"Do average everyday deeds?" Stark asked. Barton looked at Rogers.

"Exactly!"

"Help me! Help!"

Clint Barton ran down the sidewalk, dressed and ready for anything. Steve Rogers was trailing behind him as Captain America. They stopped where the pleads were originating from. "Hello, Ma'am. What seems to be the issue?"

"My grandson is stuck on a branch in the tree."

They looked at each other. "Don't worry, Ma'am. Captain America and I, Hawkeye, will save him."

"Thank you."

"You've got the strength, right?"

Rogers nodded. "Of course."

"Take this one."

"Sure thing." He stepped up and looked up into the tree. He threw his shield up, cutting straight through the branch. The boy and the branch fell. Rogers caught the boy and deflected the branch with his shield. The boy hugged him. "Thank you, Captain America!"

"No problem, son. Stay out of trouble, okay?"

"Mhm! Gramma!"

Barton gave a thumbs up. "Next!"

Tony Stark was watching this happen on the news. Bruce Banner was eating Doritos. "I didn't know they actually meant it."

Clint Barton and Steve Rogers returned home hours later carrying badges and the key to a random city. "We done good, son…we done good."


	4. Birthday Surprise

**Birthday Surprise**

Natasha Romanoff was given a job. _**"Distract the Captain at all costs." **_

Tony Stark, annoying and conceited as he was, had instructed her. She didn't take the job lightly. She understood Rogers' reason for constant questioning, but the inquiries were going to drive her up a wall. She would put up with it, though, for a little while. She journeyed to the gym where she knew him to be almost all day and night. She stood by a pillar and watched a surprising barrage of attacks on a punching bag. It split in two, and the contents spilled out. He stood with his arms to his sides, and his breathing heavy. He collapsed to his knees on the floor. "Rogers!"

She ran forward and knelt next to him. "I'm fine…" He had his eyes closed, and he then opened them. "What brings you here?"

She had a hand on his back feeling his staggered breathing. "What happened?" she asked.

"Just the past," he stated.

She frowned, then stood up and held a hand out for him to take. "We can talk if you'd like…we can go to Central Park."

He got up with her help. "Sounds nice…can I shower and change first, though?"

She nodded.

Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff strolled through Central Park. "What was it like?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Back in the twenties through the forties…what was it like?"

"Well…I grew up in Brooklyn…the economy was good until the Depression…telephones, cars…they were all new…not as advanced. America had come such a long way in the seventy years I had missed."

"You were the first of the Avengers: Captain America."

"Yeah…quite ironic that I was born July 4th…Like it was always meant to be."

"Your birthday is tomorrow, then? How old will you be, if you don't mind me asking?"

"95."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah."

_**Now I know what they're doing…**_ "Do you want a drink?"

"Depends on what kind you're talking about…"

"Any kind…"

"What about a float?"

She looked at him. "An Ice cream float?"

"Why not? It's hot, isn't it?"

"I'm just surprised."

"Surprised? That's as old fashioned as you can get!"

Natasha laughed. "Okay, sounds good."

They sat at a picnic table in the park and watched little kids play. "So, you and Barton…"

She looked at him. A smirk played on his lips. She shook her head furiously. "No! No, no. Steve!"

"What? I see the chemistry between you, that's all."

"You're a perverted old man!"

"Me? No, I was just asking."

"He's a friend."

"Okay." He sipped his float.

"What about you? Did you ever like anyone?"

He stared off blankly for a moment. "Yeah…"

"What was her name?"

"Peggy Carter…I had told her once I was waiting for the right partner…all other girls strayed away from me, before I became a super soldier that is. I liked to draw comic books, and I had as many medical conditions as you could count."

"Comics?"

"Yeah."

"Wow…I would have never known that about you, Steve…"

"Yeah, the present me can't believe it either."

She laughed.

Rogers' iPhone rang in his pocket. He pulled it out. Tony Stark was calling him, he noted, by the ringtone he set and the caller ID of "Do Not Answer Number 1." He handed it to Natasha to answer. "Yeah, Stark?"

"_**You can come home now, meet in the bar.**_"

"Thanks for the info, Stark." She handed the phone back to him after hanging up. "Let's head back…Stark has something for us to do."

"Alright."

Avengers HQ was quieter than usual. Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff walked into the building. "He said to meet in the bar."

They took the elevator up to the top and walked down the hall. The door was closed. She stood behind him as he opened it. The room was full of color: Red, White and Blue everywhere. "Happy early birthday, Cap'n!" Stark walked over and patted him on the back. Banner, Barton and Fury were there, and Thor had travelled the distance to be there too. Rogers smiled and looked at Stark, who was wearing a cocky grin. Natasha walked in and stood beside Barton. Fury walked over. "In honor of your service, I present to you this…" He held out a framed American flag, with badges inside. He took it, his hands shaking slightly. "Thank you."

"You deserve it, Gramps…" Stark said. "Join the party!"

He pulled Rogers into the room. "There's drinks and food and lots of sugary things!"

"Why are you doing this?"

"I can't always be focused on me. Come on, Cap'n. I'm a better person than that."

"Okay, true."

"Congratulations on being a year older," Thor said.

"Thanks…"

"Yeah, Gramps, you're almost 120!"

"Not even close," Natasha pointed out.

"You know everything, hm?"

"He's only 95, Stark. Fix your math."

"I was joking."

"It's not funny."

Barton placed himself between them. "Let's not argue, okay. Happy birthday, Captain."

"Thanks, Tweety."

"You-!"

Steve Rogers ran away from an angry Clint Barton, who had his bow and arrows in his hands. Rogers jumped behind Stark. "Save me, Starky!"

"Excuse me, but that iPhone in your pocket was a bribe!" He stopped out of the way, and Barton crashed into Rogers, and they fell to the ground. "Owch."

"Get off me, Tweety!"

"Don't call me that!"

"Starky!"

"Not helping you."

"Aah!" He lifted Barton off himself with ease. "Come on, Tweety. Did you really think…"

"Ooh, you're going to get on my nerves!"

"Aw, Tweety…"

"Rrr!"

Rogers laughed, and set Barton down beside him. Stark carried glasses over. "Drinks?"


	5. A Nightmare

**A Nightmare**

Tony Stark was bored. Boredom with the Avengers was usually very dangerous for the citizens of Manhattan, or smaller neighboring towns. Last time they were bored, Steve Rogers and Clint Barton ran off to do good deeds for people. Stark realized he could gain more of a reputation if he did too. He set off in his newly polished Iron Man suit to find something to do. There was a kitten stuck in a tree. "I can save your kitty, little girl."

He cut the tree down with a laser, and the kitten was crushed, blood and bits flew everywhere. "Kitty!"

"Uh…whoops."

He was gone quickly. "That wasn't good…"

He decided to help out traffic since a light was broken. He caused a pile up. He returned to Avengers HQ in a huff. "What the hell? Why can't I be a hero too?"

Rogers was standing by the wall. "Hello, Starky."

"You!"

"Trying to do a little heroing, eh?"

"What did you do!"

A wide and very evil smirk played across the faithful Captain America's face. "Nothing really."

"Sabotage!"

"Yeah. Next time, leave the heroing to the real heroes."

Tony Stark awoke from the dream. "Oh my god…I need to find Rogers and kick his ass with my shiny metal foot!"


	6. The Indestructible Shield

**The Indestructible Shield**

Bruce Banner wanted to do an experiment, ached to do an experiment. He knew that Captain America's shield was indestructible, but he wanted to test it, and its owner, under all conditions. "Hey, Rogers…you're not busy, are you?"

"No, why?"

"I have a test I want to do, but I need you and your shield."

"Okay."

Steve Rogers stood in the center of a large room underground. His shield reflected what light was in the room, and the white star on his chest gleamed. The room started to grow warm. Sweat dripped off his chin. Banner walked into the room. "I'll be testing you and your shield in different conditions."

"Okay…"

Banner transformed into the Hulk. "RAAAH!"

He crashed his fists down on the shield, and did no damage. Rogers jumped back. "Nice hit you've got there, son…" He pulled the mask off his face, and sweat dripped off his nose. "Man, it's hot!"

The Hulk appeared behind him. "RAAH!"

"Whoa!" He dodged the fists. "Watch where you put those things, son…"

He threw the shield and it hit the Hulk dead on, but bounced back, doing no damage to the beast. The temperature in the room switched dramatically. "Getting cold now…"

"RAAH!"

A very bitter wind blew through the room, and Rogers pulled his mask back on.

Steve Rogers sat shivering with a blanket on his shoulders and a cup of hot chocolate, staring down Banner and Stark as they looked over the degeneration of the Vibranium shield. "Sorry about that."


	7. Natasha Kitty

**Natasha Kitty!**

"Tony. Hey, Tony! Wake Up, something is horribly wrong!"

Tony rolled over and looked into the bright blue eyes of his blonde companion. "What's wrong, Steve?"

"Natasha is missing!"

He sat up quickly. "What?"

"Yeah, no one has seen her this morning!"

"She didn't go out?"

"I checked the log book, no one left this morning but me."

Tony pulled away the covers and grabbed a robe. Steve hopped off the bed. He heard a small noise behind him. He looked down and there stood a very fluffy white cat with mahogany fur spots. He picked it up. "A cat!"

Tony looked over. "What's a cat doing in here?" He walked over and petted its head.

"I don't know, but can we keep it? Please, Tony!"

"Why, we have Clint and Bruce, don't we?"

"Please, Tony! It's so cute, just look!"

The cat gave a meow. Tony sighed. "Fine."

"Whoo!"

Tony swore he saw the cat roll its eyes. He chuckled at both the notion, and the faces Steve was making. "Let's figure out what's going on, Steve."

"Right…" He set the cat down. It followed them to the dining hall, where the other Avengers had assembled. Clint walked up to them. "Anything?"

Steve shook his head. "Nothing."

He frowned. Tony patted his shoulder. "We'll figure it out."

Thor was shut-up in a corner staring at the cat that had followed Steve into the room. "Hey, Thor. You're pretty quiet. You have any ideas?"

"Nay, I am sorry."

The cat followed Steve around, constantly trying to get his attention. He would just make a face and then laugh and pet its head. "She's cute," Tony said as he and Steve sat on the couch. He rubbed her back. "Do you have a soft spot for animals or something?"

Steve shook his head. "It just felt like the right thing to do."

The cat nudged his hand with her head. He smiled and obliged, scratching her behind the ears. Her tail flicked and brushed against Tony's arm. Tony sighed loudly and laid his head on Steve's shoulder. "I should still be asleep…"

"Sorry, Tony."

He groaned and closed his eyes. "Just don't move, I'm comfortable."

Steve turned his head slightly and smiled a boyish smile. Tony opened his eyes. "What?"

"Nothing…"

Tony sat up straight and sat criss-cross, facing Steve, on the couch. "I love your faces, Steve, but you torture me with them."

The cat curled up on the top of the back of the couch. Steve turned to face Tony. "I know, and it's a lot of fun to do so."

Tony flicked his nose, and chuckled at the facial expression he made. "Stop the faces!"

"You flicked me in the nose!" He rubbed his nose until he sneezed, fell to the side and off the couch. Tony placed a hand on the leg of Steve's that remained on the couch. "Steve, are you alright?"

"Yeah…that was _**so **_graceful, right?"

Tony chuckled again. "Very, very graceful."

He slinked down next to him and placed a hand on his stomach. He leaned over and kissed Steve softly. The cat was watching with a warm expression. Steve smiled and his blue eyes lit up. Tony slapped the ground next to his head. "Faces, Steve, faces!"

Clint opened the door while the two were laughing. Tony looked over. "Anything yet?"

He shook his head and slinked into a chair. Steve rolled onto his side and propped his head up with his hand. "She'll be fine, son."

Tony nodded. "For sure, she's a kick ass fighter and a helluva negotiator."

The cat jumped into Clint's lap, purring like mad. "She likes you," Steve pointed out. "A lot."

Tony pushed him over onto his back. "Stop that, you look like a model."

Clint kind of laughed. "Yeah, kinda."

Steve pulled his leg off the couch and sat up. Bruce and Thor entered the room. They occupied the couch. Steve placed his chin on Tony's shoulder from behind. Tony looked at his sad look, and everyone else's. He sighed. "Come on, guys. I'm sure everything is fine."

Thor was effected most by their pained expressions and could bear it no longer. "She is here, among us, my friends. I will let it pain you no longer. My brother hath transformed her into that cat there."

They all looked at the cat in Clint's lap. "What!"

"I am sorry I didn't tell you immediately, but my brother said he would kill her if I said anything."

"How do we get her back?"

"On its own, it will wear off within a week. My brother is the only one that can reverse it."

Clint looked into the eyes of Natasha the cat, and frowned. "I'm sorry, Tasha…"

She seemed to understand, and blinked in response. Tony sighed in relief, and looked at Steve, who also looked a bit more relieved. "I'm glad you said something, Steve…"

"Yeah, so am I. I just had a gut feeling that she needed to stay here."

Bruce cleared his throat. "So, without Loki, we just have to wait a week before it wears off?"

"Precisely, it will only take one week. Do not worry, my friends."

Clint petted Natasha the cat's head. "Loki has gone too far…What kind of sick game is he playing with us now?"

Tony shrugged. "Whatever it is, we must be prepared for it."

"It's _**definitely**_ super-villain material to change someone into a cat," Steve said. "Animals are always a lot more threatening, _**especially **_a cat."

Tony looked at him fully and rolled his eyes. Natasha roamed over and sat in front of Steve, then slashed his arm with a clawed paw. "Ow, hey! What the hell was that for?"

She licked the paw, and then padded back to sit in Clint's lap. She stared at Steve intently. He stared at the small droplets of blood that pricked up along the slash in his arm. "Okay! So, it's a bit menacing! Ow, it stings!"

Tony took his arm an inspected it. "You're fine, Captain Klutz…now maybe you'll know not to mess with a cat, and even more so: Natasha."

"I didn't mean it like that!"

**(A few mornings later…)**

Steve returned from his daily morning run around the city. Tony tossed him a bottle of water as he walked into the kitchen. "Thanks…"

He opened it and drank it graciously. Bruce was in the kitchen as well, putting together a mixture of food to give to Natasha the cat for breakfast. Steve took a look, and grimaced. "Looks delicious…"

"Try it if you'd like, I want to know if it's good enough."

"No thanks…" Steve's nose wrinkled in distaste. "But I'm sure Tweety would do it for his girlfriend…"

Clint slapped him in the back of the head. "She's not my girlfriend, grandpa."

"Hey, she chose _**your **_lap to sit in."

The tips of Clint's ears turned red. "So?"

"Denial, son…" He took another gracious swig of water. "Where is she, anyway?"

"Curled up under the air conditioner… Even as a cat she likes the cold."

"She's insane…"

Tony tossed an apple at Steve, an even in his surprise, he caught it. "Is there anything special for breakfast this morning, other than Bruce's wonderful kitty concoction?"

"You're actually hungry this morning, Steve?"

"Eh, kind of."

Bruce set the bowl of kitty chow on the floor. "You know, breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

Steve tossed the apple in the air a few times. "Yeah, yeah…most important…I'm just not always hungry."

"Ah, but shouldn't the Star Spangled Man with a Plan always eat right? At least, to be a role model for all those little kids that look up to you?" Tony asked in a mocking manner.

"It's not like it would matter. I have a metabolism that eats up alcohol and sugar like it's out of style…I'm not so worried about healthy foods. Sure, I'll endorse it. Doesn't mean I do it…" He took a bite of the apple. "And besides that…" He went up to Tony and poked his stomach. "I'm not the one you should be worried about…"

Tony scoffed, and looked at him and feigned a hurt look. "Are you somewhat implying that I need to lose weight, Steve?"

"Not at all…"

Natasha padded into the room quickly and meowed a good morning, then started chowing down on the food she was given. Bruce laughed. "I don't think she'll quite get over this one…"

"Not at all..." Tony pushed past Steve and opened the fridge. "But she can brag that she's been there, done that, and got the T-shirt…and a few hairballs too."

Clint sat next to her and petted her head. Steve cleared his throat. "I think you're in love, Tweety…Just admit it."

"Shut-up! I am not! I-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Natasha the cat had changed back into Natasha the human, who had no clothes. She blinked and looked around. "Grand…"

She got up and walked out as the males all gazed at her. Steve patted Clint on the shoulder. "By all means…don't lie to yourself."

Clint groaned and slapped Steve's hand. "You're so god damn annoying, you know that!"

Tony and Bruce chuckled. Natasha walked back in with clothes on. "I hate you all…"

"What for? We didn't do a thing," Tony pointed out.

She gave him a pointed glare. "Exactly the point."

"What were we supposed to do? Ask Loki to change you back? It's not very likely that he would have."

She looked at Steve. "Thank you, Captain, for keeping me here."

"No problem…"

"I'm going to the bar…"

Tony walked into the bar, where Natasha sat sipping a drink. "Hey, not fair. I'm not allowed to drink in the morning, you aren't either."

"You haven't been a cat for a week. I've had to lick myself clean, and eat the food the Bruce made for me everyday…I deserve this."

"Ah…true, I guess…But hey, it's good to have you back."

"Yeah…So, you and Steve, hm?"

"What? Oh, yeah. The night before you changed into a cat…he and I kind of…bonded."

"I think he'll be good for you, help you come out of the fog you've been in for so long. And you can help him in the same way."

"I plan on it…but hey, really. It's really good to have you back."

"That was one of the worst things I've ever felt…"

Tony half laughed. "I think Clint is happy you're back too…"

"Leave him alone…"

"He likes you, and I know you like him, so why don't you do something about it?"

Natasha remained quiet. "What did he say to change you into a cat?"

She looked at him. "What?"

"What did he say? Like...a magic spell or something."

"No…he just pointed at me and said 'kitty catty, catty kitty.' Just like that."

"I see…" Tony stroked his goatee. "Just that?"

"Yeah."

He gained the most evil of schemes in his mind, but he needed to find the right time to play it out.


	8. Kitty Catty, Catty Kitty

**Kitty Catty, Catty Kitty**

Tony Stark decided it was the time for his plan to kick into motion. He found Steve taking a nap in the recreation room. He knelt down beside the couch and shook him gently. "Hey, Steve…"

Steve opened his eyes. "Whoa…I fell asleep?"

"Yeah…you okay?"

"I guess so…"

"Good…I have something to tell you."

"What?" Steve sat up. "What's going on?"

Tony smirked oh so slightly and pointed in his direction. "Kitty catty, catty kitty!"

"What?"

The unknowing Steve Rogers was transformed into a blonde cat with pretty blue eyes and a white fur spot shaped like a star on his chest. Tony smiled wickedly. "It worked!"

Steve the cat stared at him with sad eyes that asked, "Why?"

Tony just lifted him from the couch and cradled him in his arms. "I'm sorry, my dear Steve…but I have a plan."

Steve meowed in a tone that Tony knew so well. "Yeah, yeah…"

He walked out into the hall. Clint walked down the hall in their direction. "Hey, Tony…what's going on?" He saw the cat in his arms. "A cat?"

"It's Steve. Say hi, Steve."

Steve meowed. Clint had a wide eyed expression. "Did Loki get him? Where is that bastard, we need to kick his ass!"

"No. I did."

"What?"

"Kitty catty, catty kitty!"

And Clint Barton was changed into a black cat, with a white spot around one eye and white tipped ears. Tony laughed maniacally and went on to find his next victim. Bruce just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and was also transformed into a black cat with white tipped paws. Natasha and Thor were changed together: Natasha the same fuzzy white cat with mahogany spots and Thor a blonde cat with long fur and a white lightning bolt shaped stripe on his back. He moved on to antagonize other members of S.H.I.E.L.D. Nick Fury, for one, was a pretty attractive cat: a chocolate brown with brown eyes, and a black fur spot around his left eye.

There was no one but himself left as he stood in front of the assembled bunch of cats. "Well, this went smoothly."

Steve yawned and looked up at Tony, still in his arms. "Meow!"

"Yeah, this is no fun…" He set Steve down and pointed at himself. "Kitty catty, catty kitty!"

He, himself, was transformed into a cat. He was an orange tabby cat with a white strip under his bottom lip like his goatee. (A/N: Italics is cat language!)

"_Hey guys_."

"_Why the hell did you change us into cats_!"

"_Whoa, calm your tits…it's not the end of the world…it'll only be a week_."

"_How will we feed ourselves_?"

"_Jarvis can translate my speech. Right, Jarvis_?"

"Yes sir…"

"_See? Plus, Pepper is still normal_."

And right on cue, Pepper walked into the room. She stopped mid-step and stared at all the cats, then spotted Tony the cat and grabbed him. "What did you do now?"

He licked his paw, very amused. "_Jarvis, translate for me_."

"Mrs. Potts, I will translate for Mr. Stark for the time being…"

"Start explaining…"

"_I had this brilliant idea after Loki changed Natasha into a cat, for us to try it out too… only to be fair. It's not all that big of a deal…one week…though, you may need to buy some cat food to last that long. There is about ten of us_."

Jarvis translated. She sighed. "You're going to get a long talk from me when this is over…"

"_Don't doubt it…_"

She looked around at the other cats trying to identify them. "Thor; lightning bolt…Natasha; mahogany spots…Clint; the tipped ears for hearing and the eye for sight…Bruce; paws for strength…Nick Fury, really Tony?" She set him down and picked up Steve. "And Steve…the star and the baby blue eyes are hard to miss."

Steve meowed. She sighed and scratched his head. "Tony, you're twisted."

"_No, I just like having fun._"

The week had come and gone for all the victims of Tony Stark's plot. Things reverted to normal. That is, after they all awoke naked in a pile after falling asleep together as cats. The plight was embarrassing, for those who had things to hide, that is. For Steve and Natasha, not so much. Even Nick Fury was afraid to show a little skin. Needless to say, _**after that**_, things were quite normal.

Tony was watching Steve nap peacefully. If there were any traits to be obtained from being a cat, it was one that Tony was happy about him picking up. For his insomnia, though, there was no cure. He was running his fingers through the blonde locks of hair. Steve was lying between Tony's legs, his head on Tony's chest. The soft hum of Tony's Arc Reactor had lulled him to sleep. Natasha stepped into the room quietly. Tony looked over and smiled lightly. "Hey," he whispered.

She walked over and knelt by the arm of the couch. "Is he okay?"

"Oh yeah…just taking a cat nap…"

"Not funny…"

"Meh…"

Steve adjusted his position, and curled against him more. She smiled. "He obviously forgives you for turning him into a cat…"

"He can't resist me…I'm irresistible."

She rolled her eyes and stood. "Keep telling yourself that, Stark."

"It's true, and you know it…"

She walked to the door. "I'm going out with Clint for a while…"

"Mm…took my advice?"

"No, he took Steve's."

"Ah…good man, grew balls."

"Shut-up, Tony…"

"Have fun…You know the drill, right?"

"Tony, he's not like you."

"That's right…I'm like me, and no one else."

She walked out of the room. "Conceited son of a bitch…I'm glad Steve sees past that…"

Tony smiled and looked back at Steve.


	9. Another Nightmare

**Another Nightmare**

He never thought he could see so much blood in one place_. Slaughtered. So many people_. He wasn't useless. So, why hadn't he stopped them? His friends. He was looking for his friends, and for Steve. He would call out; surely his voice was as loud as _he_ perceived it to be. The smoke wasn't clearing. He didn't know what was beyond it, and he was pretty sure he didn't want to know, but his friends could be on the other side. He trudged through the grey smoke that blurred his vision, even with his helmet on. _Steve! Steve?_ No reply. _Anyone? _Communications tough battle._ Why does it feel like even though the battle is over, the suffering has yet to begin?_ He wondered these things as he pushed through in search for anything, even hope. He heard his name. He looked around. Again, he heard it. _Natasha!_ She was battle scarred and bloody. _The others?_ She shook her head. She was as lost and clueless as him. Clint joined them from his safe roof top hideout. Safe as it was, he hadn't escaped unscathed. None of them had. _Steve? _Nothing at all. Bruce and Thor appeared, and the smoke dissipated. He started to panic. If they thought they had ever seen him in panic, they were wrong. He pulled rubble away, and cars, and broke into buildings that had crumbled. _No Steve. _He could cry. He would have if he hadn't spotted the edge of the Vibranium shield that was sticking out from beneath fallen rubble. He pulled through it, piece by piece. Thor joined in on heavier and larger pieces until they had cleared it away. Steve lay on his stomach, and he could see where the blood stained his suit, and pooled on the floor. Bruce walked over and checked to see if it was safe to move him. They rolled him over to see the extent of his injuries. He opened one eye, and coughed. Tony felt as if he would break down. He did. _I'm sorry I didn't stop them…_Steve looked at him with the one eye he had open. He raised a shaky hand to Tony's face, and placed it there. His eye closed, and his hand dropped slowly, leaving a bloody print on Tony's face. He grabbed his arm. _Steve! Steve! _Bruce checked his vitals, and frowned. Tony wouldn't accept it. He grabbed Steve's head. _Steve! Wake up, damnit! You're fine! Fine! Come on, you can't do this! Steve!—_

He jolted up in his bed, drenched in sweat and tears, and screaming. The sudden movement and sound jerked Steve awake. "Tony?"

He grabbed him, despite the sweat, and held him close. "Tony…it's alright…"

He rocked him gently, attempting to lull the screaming. He stroked Tony's face gently. "Calm down, Tony…I'm right here…it's alright…Shh…"

The screaming died down, and he sobbed. Steve continued his rocking motion, soft and gentle. If it had been the Avengers floor of Stark Tower, the others would be eager and willing to help. But it wasn't. It was the penthouse, where the only thing left at night was Jarvis, who really wasn't of any help but to make a soothing cup of tea. The noise quieted up, and Tony's breathing was the only sound in the room. Steve kept his grip on him, for he knew as collected as Tony could be during the day, how fragile he could be after a nightmare. "Tony…"

Tony looked up at him. "…Steve…"

He brought his hands up to inspect him. He left them placed on Steve's face. They stared into each other's eyes. Steve took Tony's hands from his face and held them. "It's alright, Tony…"

He breathed and nodded. "Just…making sure…"

Steve grabbed from the table his clean jogging towel and wiped Tony's face with it. He kissed his forehead, which felt a bit warm to him, and then kissed Tony lightly on the lips. "Don't be afraid, Tony…I will always be right here…I love you."

"I…love you too, Steve…thank you…"

Tony laid his head on Steve's chest and listened to his heart beat, its rhythm. He listened to his steady breathing. All the things that kept a human being alive, and Steve was very much alive. His dreams haunted him, and taunted him about his worst fear; of losing the one he truly cared about, while the things in his past haunted him greatly, too. But losing Steve, he couldn't bear it. "Steve…"

He didn't get an immediate reply. He looked at his companion's face. "Steve?"

His eyes fluttered open quickly. "Whu-yeah, Tony? Sorry…"

"N-no…don't worry about it…I'm sorry…I wasn't going to wake you…"

"What's wrong?"

"I just…what are you afraid of?"

Steve sat up slightly. "Tony, I don't think…"

"I-I'm sorry…that's not appropriate is it?"

"I'm afraid of a lot…my past, mainly…"

"Do you dream about it?"

"Frequently, but I try not to bother anyone with it…I have better dreams when I'm with you, though…I know I'm not alone…"

"Don't ever be afraid of asking me to do this for you…Okay, Steve?"

He nodded. "You should try to sleep now, Tony…"

He leaned back again, and Tony replaced his head to Steve's chest, again listening to his heart beat and breathing, and slowly falling back into sleep.


	10. He Brought You

**He Brought You**

Steve really hated technology. He didn't understand it. His apartment was empty, and the only thing he found to do on the lonely and very boring Saturday was to tinker with the technology Nick Fury had left him. The tablet device, he found, was only good for reading a book or watching movies or videos. It was an entertainment device. He liked his iPhone a lot. It had more use to him than anything else he had tried to learn to use. He had a television, but he didn't find it as much use to him, unless he wanted background noise, but for that, he could use a radio.

Tony was also bored in his penthouse. Television was out of the question; summer programming sucked. He had no projects to tinker with, and the Iron Man suit was in the best condition it could ever be. Pepper was away with her parents in D.C. for the weekend, and the Avengers were all disbanded and doing what they would normally do while undercover. He sighed, and picked up his phone. "What the hell am I going to do today?"

A notification popped up on his screen from Facebook. Steve had challenged him at the game Robot Unicorn Attack. He sighed, but realized Steve must have been as bored as he was to play the game. He dialed him up. "Hey, Cap."

"_Why is it when we're allowed to go on with our regular lives, it's always more boring?_"

"I can't answer that for ya, Cap. So hey, you're obviously bored then. Why don't we meet up in Central Park?"

"_To do what?_"

"Nothing in particular. Maybe if we put our very bored minds together, we can figure something out."

"_Unfortunately, I don't have anything better to do, so swell idea._"

Steve and Tony met up at a bench in the park. "You haven't happened across anything to do yet, have you?"

"Not a clue…Today is going to be more boring than I thought."

Steve plopped onto the bench and stared at the clouds floating in the sky. Tony caught himself staring at the man in front of him, and averted his attention to something else. Steve pulled out his phone and looked to see if he had any notifications from Facebook. Tony couldn't help but laugh. "What?"

"How does it feel to be converted into a conformist?"

"What do you mean?"

Tony sat and pointed to the phone in Steve's hand. "Conformity…You're using a cell phone."

"How is it conformity? I would have no means of communication with anyone. Fury told me that no one really sends letters anymore…"

"You could see them face to face. See, technology has made you lazy."

"Me? Lazy? I wake up at five every morning and run around the city over ten times! What do you do? Sleep until seven, and then what? You use as much technology as I do."

"Whoa, Cap…chill out. No need to get defensive about it. Sheesh."

Steve stood up. "I don't even know why I agreed to this…" He shoved his phone back into his pocket. Tony got up and followed him as he walked away. "Hey, Cap! Wait! You can't seriously be angry at _me_."

"You tend to cross the line quite a bit, Mr. Stark…"

"I'm not my father, so stop calling me that."

Steve stopped walking and looked at him. "Your father was one of my good friends, son…if he knew that this was how I will remember the Stark legacy, he would be ashamed."

Tony clenched his fists. "You don't know me, so don't try to!"

"Mm…hate the feeling, right?"

Tony didn't know Steve could be so cold. "Did you learn that while you were a Capsicle?"

Pain erupted within him before he knew what had happened. He collapsed to his knees and looked up. Steve towered over him. "What am I, something you manipulate for your own entertainment? A toy? Am I a game to you, Tony? I may be naïve, but I am not stupid. You don't know what I've been through, and it's not like you even care. The feeling is mutual. I give up on trying to be your friend…I will fight beside you, even though you're only going to fight for yourself…"

Tony watched Steve walk away.

Tony stared at the blank screen of his phone. _"What am I, something you manipulate for your own entertainment?" _He frowned deeply, and threw the phone across the room. Pepper walked into the room carrying a luggage case. "I'm back…"

He remained silent. She set the bag down and walked up behind the couch and looked over it. "Oh no…you're sulking."

"I am not sulking…"

"You are…what happened?"

"I'm not sulking…"

"Was it one of your girlfriends?"

"Pepper…" He looked at her pointedly. She frowned.

"Come on, Tony…"

"I got into a fight with Steve…I pushed beyond his limits and he became angry with me…"

"So, why are you sulking, then? I didn't think you two were the best of friends anyway."

His vision seemed to zone out for a moment, and then he looked back at her. "I realized something while I've been sitting here…"

"What is that?"

"He's actually really important to me…"

"You may be a genius, but you're extremely blind."

"What are you talking about?"

"I could see it before you even realized it, Tony…"

"Me and Steve? No. No, no…He probably won't even talk to me now!"

"It wouldn't hurt to try, Tony…make it better, or try to. I won't save you this time."

"Great," he mumbled, and got up to retrieve his phone from where it had landed. Pepper left the room to go to hers. He dialed Steve's number and listened to the dial tone. After one too many rings in Tony's mind, he picked up. "_Tony?"_

"Yeah, uh…Hi."

"_What is it?"_ Steve's voice sounded hoarse, and Tony heard him cough slightly.

"Are you feeling alright?"

"_Yeah, I'm _-" he stopped talking and coughed violently. "—_Fine_."

"I'm not so sure about that, Cap…I can be at your apartment in no time…"

"_Don't bother, Tony…I'm fine, and I definitely don't need your help._"

"Sorry, Cap…I've made up my mind." He hung up the phone. "Hey, Pep! I'm going out…be sure to have dinner waiting for me when I come back…"

"Where are you going?"

"To Steve's apartment…I got a hold of him, but he doesn't sound too good."

"Oh, okay!"

Tony walked up to the door of Steve's apartment. He rapped on it, and then opened it. "Steve?"

He closed the door and walked into the room more, searching for Steve. "Hey, Steve…Croak if you hear me…"

He heard coughing from inside another room. He opened the door slowly. "Steve?"

He looked inside to see a very pitiful Steve laying on his stomach on his bed, his head stuffed into his pillow. He walked in and up to the bed. "Steve…"

Steve looked at him, his normally glossy blue eyes were blood shot and had lost there sheen. "You look terrible…"

"I feel worse…"

"Glad I came then, right? I brought soup!"

Steve groaned. Tony touched his arm lightly, but quickly withdrew his hand. "Damnit, you're burning up. Steve, this could be serious!"

Steve rolled over onto his back. Sweat dampened his brow and his hair stuck to his face. Tony touched his forehead, with the same reaction. "Soup isn't going to do jack shit! You need to go to the hospital! No, I'll call Bruce! I don't trust those doctors…" He pulled out his phone, and dialed for Bruce. Steve watched him with weary eyes. He was distracted by the sound of his breathing and the heaving of his chest as he prepared for a coughing fit. Tony, who had turned around as he talked on the phone, turned around to look at him. He coughed dry and hard; he felt like his chest would collapse on itself. "Hang in there, Steve…" He sat next to him and rubbed his back. "Hurry up, Bruce…"

Bruce arrived half an hour later. Steve had drifted into sleep by then, and Tony kept vigil on him. "There may not be much we can do, Tony…he may have to suffer through it for a few days."

"No pills? Nothing?"

"It's possible…A drip, maybe…but its his body's reaction to it that I'm weary about…This may all just pass through in a matter of hours, or it may take normal time…"

"Try…something, anything, _and everything_."

"Of course…I wasn't going to come here and do nothing."

He examined Steve's symptoms, and took his temperature. "We need to reduce his fever before we can do anything…It's dangerously high."

Tony filled a Ziploc bag with ice and brought it into the room. "Sorry, Cap…we gatta put you on ice…" He placed the bag on Steve's head. Steve opened his eyes. "Hey…Bruce is here…we're reducing your fever."

He shivered slightly. "It's…cold…"

After fifteen minutes of ice therapy, Bruce checked his temperature again. "No change…Tony, we need to bring him to the hospital…they're the only ones with supplies to deal with this…"

"Okay…"

Steve awoke in the hospital. He jolted up and looked around. "What…"

His head felt a little foggy, but his body felt stronger and healthier. Tony was asleep in a chair beside him, his head leaning on the bed. "Tony…"

Tony lifted his head quickly. "Shit…I fell asleep…" He looked at Steve. "Steve! You're awake!"

"What happened?"

"We had to bring you here…your fever was too high for us to handle…"

"Oh…Thanks."

"No problem…you were pretty pitiful…You feel better now though, right?"

"Yeah…"

Clint and Natasha walked into the room. "Steve, how do you feel?"

"Great…"

Clint patted his back. "I thought you were invincible, Captain."

"To a certain extent…"

Natasha handed him a large envelope. "They're cards…Fury, Thor, and a few others felt the need…"

"Thanks…" He set the envelope aside.

Natasha stepped back. "I have some things to do…I'll see you around, Steve…"

"Good-bye…"

Tony got up. "Tweety and I will be your escorts home today…"

"Oh boy…"

Fifteen minutes into their car ride home, the medications the nurses had given Steve finally got to his head. The wheels on the bus go round and round...round and round...PETER PAN!" he sang in tune with "Wheels on the Bus", "The sausage on the farm goes quack moo bark all day long!"

Tony was trying to hard **not** to laugh, and Clint was failing. Steve was gone, and they knew it. "I'm a little acorn brown,  
Lying on the cold, cold ground  
Everybody steps on me  
That is why I'm cracked you see  
I'm a nut tch, tch  
I'm a nut tch, tch  
I'm a nut, I'm a nut, I'm a nut tch, tch

I can sing and I can dance  
I wear ruffles on my...  
sorry, boys, guess again  
I wear ruffles on my dress…"

Tony lost it and laughed uncontrollably. He had to pull the car over to keep from crashing. Clint was lost in laughter. "Called myself on the telephone  
Just to see if I was home  
With myself I made a date  
Had to be there by half past eight.

Took myself to the movie show  
Sat myself in the very first row  
Wrapped my arms around my waist  
When I got fresh I slapped my face…"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAH we HAHAHA we lost HAHAHAHAHA we lost him!" Tony exclaimed.

"Daddy's beard is long & gray,  
Growing grayer day by day,  
Mama eats it in her sleep  
Says it tastes like shredded wheat…"

"I can't breathe!" Clint screamed, still laughing.

"Coca cola came to town  
Pepsi cola shot'em down  
Dr. Pepper fixed him up  
Now we all drink 7up

Seven up got the flu  
Now we all drink Mt. Dew  
Mt. Dew went up the mountain  
Now we all drink from a fountain."

"I do believe so," Clint called between breaths.

Steve sat silent for a few minutes. Tony hadn't moved the car at all. "!"

He lost all consciousness, and his head slammed into the window. "And…he's gone."

They drove to Stark Tower and carried him inside. Pepper heated up the dinner Tony was supposed to have three days earlier and made him eat it, while she made something for Steve to eat when the medication wore off and he wasn't mentally insane.

Tony walked into Steve's room on the Avenger's Floor in the middle of the night; his insomnia was acting up and he had nothing better to do. He hadn't noticed Steve was awake until he reached the bed and saw his blue eyes staring at him in the dark. "Shit! Steve, don't scare me like that…Jesus…"

"Sorry…" he said softly. "Tony…I want to apologize…"

Tony shook his head. "I should be the one to apologize…"

Steve looked at him. "Don't say a word, Steve…"

"I won't…"

"Please don't hate me, Steve…You're a really good friend to me, I can't deny that…I hate myself for what I said to you…I deserved a lot more than a knee to the stomach could give…"

"I don't hate you, Tony…"

Steve sat up and Tony sat on the edge of the bed. "You're not a toy to me, Steve…nor are you a game or a thing to manipulate for my entertainment…I care…I really do…and I—"

Steve pulled Tony's head forward and crashed their lips together. Tony was absolutely shocked for all of about four seconds. "Stop talking, Tony…"

Tony was genuinely intrigued. "That wasn't the medication, was it?"

"No…"

"So…"

"Tony…I really like you…beside the fact that you can be a real ass…"

"You see…that's what I find I like about you, Steve…you're a great person; kind, caring and quite attractive…you're flawless."

Steve felt his face heat up. "R-really?"

"We're complete polar opposites…but the chemistry is so right."

Tony smiled at Steve, and Steve smiled back. "Opposites attract…man were they right."

_**Unfortunately, this beautiful moment was disbanded in the morning due to Natasha being transformed into a cat.**_


	11. A Nap with the Cap

**A Nap with the Cap**

Steve Rogers wasn't one to nap. It perpetuated to him that he was older than he felt (Those 70 years on ice was surely enough sleep, right?). But every once in a while, he would slip off into sleep while sitting alone in the rec room, or anywhere really. It's a cardinal rule that if you're found sleeping, you can be awakened by any means the provoker wanted. Tony Stark found this to be amusing. He found Steve sleeping by his indoor swimming pool (and come on people, we all know that the genius, billionaire, Playboy, philanthropist is bound to have one, even if he won't swim in it...his ladies can. And his men.). He thought how odd of a place to fall asleep, and then it wasn't so odd. The pool had a hot tub that poured water through a waterfall into the large pool itself, and the sound must be soothing. _But_, he wondered. _Why here? _

His want to push him in was high. _Cardinal rule number 1: Never be caught sleeping anywhere. _He knelt down, and gently hooked his fingers under his arm. But before he could push him in, Steve started to yell. He thought he was awake and had caught him in the act, but time told him that he wasn't. He moved back to get away from the flailing arms of a scared Steve. He was dangerously close to the water, and Tony knew it wouldn't end well. He tried his best to grab him, but was hit in the side by one of Steve's arms. Steve promptly fell into the pool. Tony started to panic. Steve hadn't woke up when he hit the water, and he was sinking fast. He dove in after Steve, who had finally awoken and was choking on water; the mighty super-soldier was drowning. But Tony was going to save the day. He grabbed onto Steve's arm, and started to pull up. _So far, so good, _he told himself. He thanked water's ability to make people lighter due to buoyancy. He surfaced, and Bruce, Natasha and Clint were there, all called by JARVIS. "A little help?"

Clint and Bruce grabbed onto Tony and pulled him up, and helped in pulling Steve above the water, and out. Bruce started CPR on him to remove the water that he had breathed in from his lungs, all the while glaring at Tony.

Steve coughed and coughed, and finally the water came up. He breathed heavy, his body shaking from shock and from being cold. Natasha wrapped a towel around him, and stayed kneeled beside him, her hand rested gently on his back. "What happened?"

"I have...no idea...I think I fell asleep."

She looked at Tony. Her look said "you son of a bitch." Tony scratched his head in an attempt to play it off. Steve looked at Tony. "Thank you for helping me...but how did you know?"

"Heh, well, you see...I-uh..." He sighed, unable to lie to the baby blue eyes that stared him down.

"He pushed you," Clint said.

Steve's eyes never left his. "You did? Why?"

"I did not!"

Clint, Natasha and Bruce all gave him pointed stares. "You're lying through your teeth! Tony, you could have killed him!" Natasha stood up and crossed her arms. "Is that what it takes to make you learn?"

"You don't believe me? Steve started to freak out before I _could _push him in. But hey, I went in after him, and it could have been very dangerous for me."

"That's the point, _you_. You're focused on _you_, even when you're helping someone else. And you call yourself a philanthropist."

"I am..."

Bruce snorted. Steve got up. "Stop...Please."

They all looked at him. "Just...stop. Stop bullying each other..."

"Steve, he almost killed you..."

He shook his head. "No, he didn't...I believe that he didn't push me...I was in a nightmare, and I must have fallen over the edge. He went after me, though...And that's all that matters to me. I don't care why he did it. It obviously wouldn't be for himself...Or maybe it was, but that's beyond the point. You're fighting over something ridiculous...Please, just stop."

Tony frowned. "Why are you standing up for me?"

Steve grabbed a towel from Clint's arms and placed it over Tony's shoulders. "Because no one ever stood up for me...and I know in some ways, you would do the same."

He walked off without a second glance. Tony turned and watched him go. Natasha walked up to him. "Feeling guilty?"

"Just a smidge...Damn those eyes of his! If I still made weapons, our enemies wouldn't stand a chance!"

"Are you going to apologize?"

"Me, Apolo-"

Natasha glared. He swallowed. "Yes, actually...I was _just _about to do that..." He walked off quickly.

Tony walked up to the door of Steve's room. "Hey, Steve...you decent?"

"Yeah..."

He opened the door and walked in, then closed it again. The room was designed like it was the forties, with an old radio on a bedside table. Steve was sitting on his bed in sweat pants and no shirt. Tony shuddered slightly. "Steve...I-uh..."

"Don't..."

"What?"

"I already accepted your apology."

"But, I didn't..."

Steve laughed softly. Tony sat on the edge of his bed and looked around. He chuckled. "I kind of feel like I've traveled back in time..."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is what you would see if you walked into the bedroom of a little boy in 1945..."

Tony got up and went to a large billboard, so large it took up an entire wall. Old news articles and posters hung on it. "Wow...Capitalizing on your fame, eh, Cap?"

"No...sometimes it's just nice to reminisce in the past..."

"A very distant past...What was it...almost 74 years ago that you became a super-soldier?"

"Just about..."

"Damn...my father was around 74 years ago...that blows my mind..."

He spotted a picture of his father, Steve and a woman together. "Who's the lady?"

"Agent Peggy Carter..."

"You two look awfully close in this picture..."

"She was the only woman I ever loved..."

"What happened?"

Steve pulled his legs up to his chest. "I plunged the HYDRA plane headed to blow up New York into the ocean...But, here I am now. 70 years too late for my date..."

"A date? You planned a date with her before you crashed a plane into the Arctic waters? To do what?"

"Dance...I never learned how to dance, and she was going to teach me how..."

Tony frowned, a sad feeling in the pit of his stomach. "I'm sorry, Steve."

Steve smiled slightly. "It was worth it...she wouldn't have survived if I hadn't done it. None of us would be here..."

Tony turned back to look at him. "I can see why my father was your friend...you're genuinely a good person. There's no 'if's' about it. And I see why she loved you..." He walked over and sat back on the bed, and tapped his finger to Steve's chest where his heart would be. "Because you have a heart."

Tony watched a complete transformation. The beautiful and brilliant smile that had played on Steve's face vanished, and a new emotion took over: anguish. This tore Tony apart on the inside, and more so when the first few tears escaped from Steve's eyes. He cried into his knees, his sobs silent, but shook him. Tony couldn't bear to watch, and grabbed onto him. "Don't cry, Steve..."

Steve turned in Tony's grip and buried his face into his chest, sobbing. "Steve..."

"I-I'm sorry! I-I don't know why I'm crying..."

Tony held Steve's head out in front of him, staring straight into his bloodshot and glossy eyes. He wiped away his still falling tears with his thumbs, feeling the soft skin beneath them. He smiled. "There...see? Better, right?"

Steve nodded slightly. "Th-thank you...Tony..."

The room was silent, save the sound of Tony's Arc Reactor humming softly. Steve placed his hand on Tony's chest. The light was showing through his wet shirt. He looked back into Tony's eyes. He felt tired, which made him yawn. Tony cursed him as he caught the yawn, and his eyes watered from it. Tony laid back and stared at the ceiling. He pulled Steve down with him, letting his head rest on his chest. Steve felt his eyes droop slightly, the hum was pacifying, and was lulling him to sleep. He yawned again, and closed his eyes. "Tony...?"

"Yeah, Cap?"

"You're not so bad...after all..."

Tony looked at him, but he had already drifted into sleep. "Yeah, Steve...you too."


	12. The Way of the World

**The Way of the World**

Clint stared at Natasha, and thought to himself, _how I love this woman. _

She was sitting next to him at the dining table. The Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D. were having a dinner to commemorate a job well done. She hand her hand resting on his knee, stroking it softly. He turned his attention to Fury, who had stood up to speak. "I'd like to thank you all...whether or not you decide to remain within the Avengers rooms on the Helicarrier, or take on your lives, I extend to you that you are always welcome."

Tony, in an expensive suit and expensive sunglasses (Yes, even inside!) raised his wine glass. "Actually...I've decided that I'm going to convert one of my office floors into Avengers dorms...Live in the infamous Stark Tower...with me, the genius, billionaire, playboy, and philanthropist..."

Bruce snorted. "Always an honor, right?"

They laughed. "You're awfully quiet, Cap..."

"I just like hearing you all get along..."

"You're a sap, Cap..."

Clint placed his hand over Natasha's. Steve rose. "Well, I guess I should say how much I've enjoyed working with you...As much as I would _love _to join you all at Stark Tower, I have some history to catch up on..."

"Then why _not _stay at Stark Tower? We can help you through everything you need to know, Cap...Plus, JARVIS can help too. Naturalization will be snap with us."

Steve smiled an "aw shucks" smile. "Really?"

Everyone else nodded. "That is, once the rooms are converted. That will only take a few days."

Steve sat back down. Clint slipped something onto Natasha's finger. She looked at him incredulously. "Oh my god!"

Everyone looked at her as she stared at the ring he had placed on her finger. "Clint..."

Steve and Tony smiled, and Bruce sat back with his arms crossed, a goofy grin on his face. Clint got up from the seat and knelt in front of her. "You mean the world to me Natasha...I want to be by your side...everyday."

She lifted his head and kissed him. "You didn't even have to ask..."

When the Avengers dorms opened in Stark Tower, they all moved in and started a new chapter in their lives. Pepper worked with Natasha for the wedding, while the men helped Clint plan a bachelor's party. They decided Vegas was the way to go, but that's an entirely different story.


	13. The Rules

**The Rules**

"Okay. I've called you all here to discuss with you the rules, which were written, edited, and co-edited by me. So, listen up as I read aloud the rules."

Clint and Natasha, from their strategic spots at the table, zoned out completely. Bruce was listing things on a piece of paper, while Thor tried to look over and read it, but still look like he was paying attention to Tony, only to be courteous. Steve was drawing in his sketch book; a bunch of random cartoon characters doing wacky things. He half smiled, and was only half listening to Tony. Tony crossed his arms. "Really, Cap? Out of all people, I would have thought you'd be most interested in this."

"What?" Steve looked up from his sketches. "Oh, sorry. What kind of rules can you possibly have? You're always partying, there's always enough food in the house to feed the entire U.S. Military…"

"You have a good point, Steve…but if you were listening, you'd know you just broke rule number 2: never argue with my logic."

"You weren't even reading off anything…" Bruce pointed out.

"He didn't know that! Thanks, Brucie…thanks so much…"

Steve rolled his eyes. "Okay. What's rule one?"

"Do not open my door whether it's locked or not…I don't exactly remember to lock it when I have 'company'…"

Clint looked up from his phone. "You should know that, Steve…"

Steve's face turned a shade of tomato red. "Shut up, Clint…"

Tony pondered a minute. "Hm…come to think of it, most of these rules I wrote because of you, Cap…great job."

"Well, if you had, I don't know…told someone you had a woman over-"

"Excuses! Rule 12: Don't make excuses to me."

Natasha sighed. "What's the point of this, exactly? I have things to do, and if they only pertain to Steve, I'd like to have my way out…"

Clint, Bruce and Thor all nodded. Tony shrugged. "Yeah, fine, whatever. But when a rule is broken, don't say I didn't warn you."

Clint stood up and stretched, putting his phone in his pocket. "Good luck, Steve…"

Natasha hit him in the back of the head, and pushed him toward the door. "Shut up, Clint…"

Thor and Bruce left the room without a word. Steve looked at Tony. "Are they really all my fault?"

Tony walked over and sat on the table next to him. "No. Actually, I was making them up. See?" He held out a blank sheet of paper.

"Then why call a meeting?"

"I was bored. Turns out, that was much more boring."

Steve noticed his book still open, and tried to close it, but Tony placed his hand on the page. "Tony…"

"Steve, those are really amazing…where'd you learn to draw like that?"

"I taught myself…" He opened the book back up all the way. "I was always an artist, especially before I became a Super-Soldier…That was all the worth I had to me…"

"That's not true…from what I heard from my father, you were a great person. You know, someone totally opposite from me."

"Your father talked about me?"

"Oh yeah, all the time. I always had access to old war files and different things like that, so even when he wasn't telling me anything, I was still able to learn a thing or two…they never said anything about your art, though."

"Not many people knew…that's not something you put on your Army sign up sheet, nor will it show up in your records."

"I also heard a lot about Peggy Carter…"

Steve turned a few pages back in his book. Tony took it gently and looked at the picture on the page. "She really loved you…"

"I really loved her…I can't imagine what I would say to her if I could see her again…"

Tony set the book down again and closed it. "So, what other information did they not disclose about you? Did you and her ever-"

"Tony!" Steve punched Tony's leg almost in a playful manor, as to not hurt him that bad.

"Ow, hey…it's an honest question."

"No, Tony…"

He only shrugged. "Okay…You didn't have to punch my leg over it."

It was Steve's turn to shrug, and he flashed a mischievous smile. Tony slid off the table. "Oh, you're an ass…"

Steve got up and took up his book. "I think you're getting us confused…"

"There you go breaking imaginary rules again…"

* * *

So, I'm totally adding more stuff here! Yay! I've been side tracked with other stories and stuff, I promise I'll have some really hilarious stuff soon (and/or you can read my song fics. They're all kinds of crazy!)...the next story here will be...uh...hurt. That's just how I roll. It will be up...soon. But for now, I am going to go to bed because I am really tired. Teaching little kids is tough! Especially with Drama! (No, I'm not that old. It's volunteer work!)


	14. Basketball

**Basketball**

Clint was always itching for the perfect game to play. And after a long battle that ended with them being stranded in southern Florida, he decided that maybe a game of basketball would wind them down while they waited for S.H.I.E.L.D. He grabbed a ball and held it up. Natasha was the first to acknowledge that he even moved. "Where did you find that?"

"We're sitting next to a basketball court…where do you think I found it? But hey, does anyone want to play? Maybe a little two on two?"

Natasha stood up, not really having any other interesting plans. "I'm in…"

"I'll be Ref," Bruce said. They all agreed, knowing how dire the consequences would be if the Hulk were to become agitated in the middle of a game. Tony and Steve stood up. "Sounds good…what do you say, Cap? Play a little basketball in your day?"

"I never could…I was always left up against the wall. I wasn't the strongest kid in school."

"Well then this is the perfect opportunity for you…show off those hidden talents, you know?"

"Yeah…I'll play."

"Sweet!" Clint tossed the ball to Tony. "You two are a team, and Natasha and I are a team."

Tony handed the ball to Bruce. "Alright, Ref. Let's get this game on…"

They walked out onto the court, where a game was going on in the court adjacent to them. Clint and Natasha set up on one side, Steve and Tony on the other. Bruce stood between them. "Bring it in…"

Tony and Clint walked up standing on their sides, but close to Bruce. "Let's start this thing…" He tossed the ball up and Clint swatted at the ball, causing it to fall and bounce to Natasha. Steve was already on her, his massive form blocking her attempt at putting the ball into the net. He tossed it to Tony, and up the court the ball went. One kid in the other court elbowed his buddy and made him look over at the game of basketball being played by superheroes. They stopped their own game and walked up to the fence to watch. Bruce was keeping score on Tony's phone.

* * *

Halfway into the game, Steve had the ball and dunked it into the net. Tony gave him a high-five. "That was sweet…You'd put some pros out of business."

Bruce called time for a break. The kids from the other court walked over. "You've got awesome moves…Mind if we join?"

Clint tossed them the ball. "Show me your moves first…"

The two boys ran off onto the court and played a small game of one on one. They walked back. "So?"

"Yeah. You can play."

"Sweet…" The boys high-fived and tossed the ball to Bruce, who split them up to their respective teams. "What's your name, son?" Steve asked.

"Blake…And my buddy there is Keenan. We play Varsity."

"That explains a lot," Tony said. "Welcome to the team, Blake."

"Alright, if you guys are ready to continue."

"Who's winning?"

"We are," Tony said proudly. Steve smiled in triumph having never played a sport in his life and winning one on his first try. "You can't beat a team like ours."

Tony's phone started to ring. He held his hand out for Bruce to give it to him. "Yeah?"

There was a very angry Nick Fury on the phone. "Whoa, calm your tits, Nick."

Steve looked confused. "Calm your tits?"

"Long story…You'll see when we introduce you to Tumblr and stuff like that…"

"Hey guys, the Quinjet should be here in less than a minute."

Keenan and Blake seemed quite disappointed. "Hey, don't be so down…"

"Steve, for God's sake, people don't say that any more."

Steve sighed. "You know what I mean in modern speech, Tony."

The shadow of the Quinjet put them in darkness for a few seconds before it landed in the adjacent court. Clint handed the boys the ball. "Have fun with that…but you can tell your friends you almost got to play a game of hoops with the Avengers."

Natasha and Bruce were already walking toward the Quinjet. "Let's go, idiots…We have some unfinished business."

Steve, Clint and Tony walked away, leaving the two boys alone on the basketball court.

* * *

"We won," Tony said. "We were winning before the half."

"I want a rematch when we get home."

* * *

So, I thought my next update would be hurt...Nope. More comedy. But I'm working on it...


	15. One Saturday Night

**One Saturday Evening…**

Tony found himself milling over something in his mind when his phone rang. He picked it up without second thought, hoping to get his mind off of it's destination. "Yeah?"

"Hey, Stark…You want to meet us at Walmart?" Natasha's voice asked over the phone. "Clint and I are at Walmart buying some random shit with the gift card he got…"

"Uh…no thank you."

"We figured we'd buy some water guns and maybe some beef jerky."

"That's…great…Where's Natasha?"

"Shut up, Stark. I think that this is going to be one of the best things Clint and I will do ever…"

"Surprising…so, why call me?"

"I thought you were in the area."

"I live down the street."

"Exactly…"

"Yeah…well, you two enjoy that." He hung up the phone before the conversation would become more awkward.

(AT WALMART)

"That was awesome, Nat."

"Thanks, Clint…He won't ever suspect a thing."

"Let's buy these suckers…"

"I wasn't kidding about the jerky…I want some."

"Fine…"

"Teriyaki nuggets…perfect."

"Let's get to check out before more lines form!"

(Back with Tony)

_I wonder what the deal was with Natasha…She was acting really strange…_He grabbed the cup of coffee he was mixing together and sipped. "_Sir, you have guests…_"

"I didn't invite anyone over, JARVIS…Open the door…"

"_Yes, sir._"

He walked out into the hall to greet whoever decided to join him. He had no time to react before he was pelted with water. He stared at Clint and Natasha at the end of the hallway holding up giant water guns. "Surprise, Tony!"

"What the hell!" He wiped his face off.

Clint walked forward and handed him a gun. "It's full…Have a blast, Tony."

Tony eyed it, and then held it up. "It's on now…"

Clint ran off and Natasha defended his back. Tony sprayed the water from the gun. When she ran out of water, Natasha switched to dual pistol water guns. The battle raged for about 10 minutes, or until both sides had no water left. Tony was soaked to the bone in water, Clint and Natasha in no better condition. "So, you feel better yet, Stark?"

"That was a dirty tactic, Ms. Romanoff."

"I know…But my mission is complete…Sweet, sweet revenge."

* * *

Guys, do not doubt…this happened to me last Saturday night…my best friend (along with our friend and said friend's sister) called me from Walmart, bought water guns and jerky, came to my house, and we had a large water gun fight. They rewarded my sportsmanship with a water gun to keep and the rest of the jerky. It made my day. I was in a new shirt, though.


	16. Avengers Vacation Chapter 1

Avengers Vacation

**Chapter 1: The Lake**

"I am actually excited about this," said the voice of Natasha Romanoff from her seat in the front of the car. "A vacation. While, I may be the only woman on this trip, I think it'll be worth while for a little R & R."

Phil Coulson was driving the black, S.H.I.E.L.D. issue Saturn SUV. "You mean, as much R & R you can get with Stark around?"

"Pretty much…" She looked out the window at the passing trees. Her seat was jabbed in the back by the knee of Tony Stark. "It doesn't do you any good to gripe about me when I can hear."

"That's the point…" Phil pointed out. Tony rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses, and looked at his phone. "This is a pretty big place…Our cabin is by the beach."

"You mean lake," Tony said. "With placed sand."

"Nonetheless, it's a beach."

"Weren't there supposed to be more of us…"

Phil slowed down as a deer pranced across the road. "Yes…but things come up."

Natasha looked back at Tony. "You should know that better than anyone, Stark."

He pulled his sunglasses off his face to look at her. "And if I do?"

She turned back in her seat to stare out the window. He smirked and put his phone in a cargo pocket of his shorts. Phil turned the SUV down a smaller roadway. Cabins appeared behind trees, driveways with numbered markers off to the left on a mailbox. He pulled the SUV onto a driveway, the cabin number 6 marked on the mailbox. He parked and Tony was out in an instant. "Not bad, but next time, let me sponsor our vacation."

Natasha got out and went to the back to grab her things. She handed Phil his and then grabbed hers, leaving Tony's where it lay. He was staring at the water, as the sunlight rippled off it. "Hey, 'genius'. You coming, or what?"

He walked over and grabbed his bag, slinging it over his shoulder as he reached up to close the trunk. Phil was already inside scoping it out. Natasha stood on the porch watching Tony. "You alright?"

He walked up and stopped at the bottom of the small flight of stairs, a foot placed on the first step. "Yeah…I'm fine."

She walked inside as he walked up the steps. The inside was simple, but beautiful. The floors were wood. The first room had a leather couch and a glass top table, a flat screen TV mounted on the wall above a fireplace, and a coat hanger. "There are four small rooms, one more over here on this side of the cabin. The other two on that side," Phil called from the right. "Choose where you want to go."

Natasha went to the right. "I'm not sleeping near you."

"I don't snore."

"Who knows who you're going to bring home tonight."

He went to the left, opening the door to the first room he came to. It was small with a twin-size bed, a small dresser, and a small desk with a chair were all the room had inside. He set his bag on the bed and pulled his laptop out, placing it on the desk. He put his clothes into drawers, and then hung the only suit he brought on a curtain rod. He had the curtains drawn shut, leaving the room a shadow. He adjusted the strap of his tank top and pulled his phone from his pants pocket. He placed that on the desk next to his laptop. Natasha walked from her room and spotted his room door open. She walked over and peered inside. "Hey, Tony…"

He didn't jump, but she noticed he was a little startled when he looked over at her. "Sorry," she said, stepping inside. "Are you sure nothing is wrong? You don't seem like yourself."

"It's been a few days since I last slept…That's all."

She really didn't want to intrude on his personal life. "Okay…"

"Why do you want to know? I don't think it's really like you to care, for me, more or less."

"We've been through a lot recently, Tony…You're a valuable member of the team, and when you're not a jerk, you're a good friend. I'm just trying to get along so we don't have a horrid vacation."

"Oh, I see…" He turned away to fidget with his laptop. "You want me to leave you alone so you can relax, right?"

"You don't have to leave me alone, Tony…Just be mindful."

"Right…" He took the sunglasses and put them on, stood up straight and walked up to Natasha. "Well, I'm going to start now. I'm going to the bar." He pushed past her and out into the main room. She stood frozen a moment, and then walked after him. "Tony!"

She thought it was hopeless until Phil stepped into the doorway from outside. "Where are you going?"

"The bar…I'm getting out of here, so Ms. Romanoff can have a grand ol' time."

"You're going to be sober while we're here, Stark…Fury's orders."

"Fine, then I'm going down to the lake…" He walked around Phil and down the steps. Phil looked at Natasha. She sighed and walked off to her room.


	17. Vacation Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Swimming**

Tony stood knee deep in the lake water staring at a fish that was hiding in the grass. Thunder rumbled in the distance. He looked up. He was tackled from behind. He shot up sputtering and turned around. Thor stood there with a stupid grin on his face, Loki standing behind him. "Hello, Tony!"

He got up and stood straight. "Thor? What are you doing here…and with Loki?"

"I figured we'd join you on this 'vacation'…Loki will do no harm."

Natasha ran down the beach. "Tony! Are you alright?"

She stopped a few feet away from them all. "Thor and Loki?"

"Apparently…"

The two gods were in swimming trunks. Tony shrugged. "Why not? My street clothes are wet now, anyway…We should swim. There's a deck out there…" He pointed to it.

Natasha smiled gently. "Sounds good…" She pulled off the wrap she had on and placed it on the sand next to her sandals. Tony got rid of his tank top. Thor and Loki were racing each other to the deck. "I think this became more fun…" Tony said, looking at Natasha. "I'm sorry about earlier."

"It's alright, Tony…As long as you're okay, now."

"Yeah…Let's get going so they're not there being awkward…"

He took a running dive into the water, coming up a few feet from his diving point. "Come on, Nat!"

She walked in cautiously. He stopped, chin deep in water. "What's wrong?"

"I don't like fish."

Tony wanted to laugh, but he had messed things up with her already, so he wanted to be sincere. He swam back to her and stood up. "Afraid of fish?"

"Not afraid…I just don't like them touching me…"

"It'll be fine…They're really tiny, Nat…Minnows. I promise." He held his hand out for her to take. She took it and walked in with him. Thor and Loki sat on the deck, watching them. "The Black Widow and Iron Man?" Loki pondered.

"They're made for each other, brother."

"It's okay, Nat…"

"Stop talking, Tony…"

He chuckled. "I'm just trying to reassure you."

They were chest deep in the water. Natasha felt something brush past her leg and she jumped up, clinging onto Tony with her legs around his waist. "IT TOUCHED ME."

"Calm down, Natasha…"

"I swear to god, Tony!"

"What! I didn't do anything."

"I will kill you!"

"What did I do!"

"I will kill you with one finger…ten different ways…"

"But-"

"Ten ways, Tony. Ten ways."

"What do you want me to do? Take you to the dock? I'm no…taller than you are!"

Loki snickered silently. "So he admits he's short."

Natasha looked around in the water and then let go of Tony. "I can do this…"

"You sure?" he asked. "Because-"

She splashed water in his face. He spit out the water that got into his mouth and wiped his face. She was gone before he opened his eyes. "Hey!"

She was swimming to the deck. He started after her. She climbed up and casually walked down the length before Tony climbed up, and she broke into a run. He ran after her. She stopped at the edge. He had her cornered. "Tony, let me move from here…"

"I want pay back."

"Tony…"

He moved closer. She put her hands up in reflex. He went to grab her when a shadow cast over him, and the large form of Thor was behind him. Tony was grabbed from behind and lifted, then tossed into the water. Natasha laughed and looked at Thor. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Tony broke the surface and gasped for air. "What the hell, Thor!"

Natasha sat on the edge. "What was that about pay back?"

He climbed back onto the deck. "Funny…" He sat beside her, water dripping from his messy hair. She smiled and pushed his hair back and off his face. He smiled back. He looked away when he noticed Thor and Loki staring at them. He cleared his throat. "Are we gonna swim?"

Loki stood up and moved to the back edge of the deck. Thor moved back with him. "Let us jump off together!"

Tony grinned and got up, offering a hand to Natasha, who took it willingly. He saw Phil on the beach, watching, a camera in hand. He sighed, but then laughed. "I think we'll regret this later, but let's do this. Smile for the camera!"

They all ran forward and jumped together.


	18. Vacation Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Dinner and a Show**

After drying off, the gang sat around a picnic table while Phil and Tony fought over grilling rights. "You don't know how to grill!" Phil cried, pulling his tongs back. "You don't even know how to do your own laundry."

"I do too know how to grill!" Tony tried to retrieve the tongs, but Phil kept them out of reach.

Natasha set out plates and utensils. Thor seemed extremely hungry, and Loki didn't really look very interested in "mortal" food. Giving up, Tony sat on the bench next to Natasha. "Can you believe him?"

"I think he's right about the laundry…" she said, trying to hold back a chuckle. Loki was playing with his fork. "I don't think I'd eat anything you made," he said, bending the fork. "It would probably be poisoned."

Tony scowled. "You don't know me, Loki."

"I don't have to."

Thor patted his brother on the back. "Let's not upset him, brother."

Loki smirked. Phil set a plate of hot dogs on the table. "Take what you want…"

Tony crossed his arms over his chest and leaned them on the table. Natasha placed a bun on his plate and a hot dog. "Eat, Tony…"

"Not very hungry…"

She watched him intently for a moment. "Tony…" She placed her hands on his arm. "Please eat something…"

He shook his head and got up, walking off and down the hill they were on to the water. _I'm worried about him…_she thought, then got up and followed him down. "You know there could be snakes out here, right?"

"I'm not really worried about it."

Thor and Phil kept their eyes on them. Loki was too absorbed in the delicacy known as "hot dogs".

Natasha grabbed his hand before he could walk away. Her tone was a bit harsh. "Tony…this can't keep going on…I'm really worried about you."

He breathed out, and she felt his arm shake. She softened her tone. "Tell me what's wrong…"

"Am I a bad person?"

The question took her aback. "No, you're not."

"Are you sure?" He looked her in the eyes. "Because I can't ever tell…"

"Why do you think you're a bad person, Tony?"

"Because…I can't ever say what I really want to say, it always turns out sarcastic."

"That doesn't make you a bad person, Tony…"

"Would you love me if I was a bad person?"

She squeezed his hand. "Tony…"

"Would you?"

"Yes…"

"I love you, Natasha…I know it sounds very…early…"

"Tony. I've loved you for a long time…It's not too early…it's perfect."

They walked back up to the picnic table, where the food had been cleared away, and Loki was standing on top of it…dancing. "It would be more fun if there was a pole!" he exclaimed. Tony couldn't keep from laughing, nor could Natasha. Loki turned, discovered. "You didn't see this…"

"Of course I didn't see this…But I can't erase it from my memory," Natasha teased.

"The pole can be arranged," Tony quipped. Loki hopped off the table. "I'm sure your father would be proud."


End file.
